I Feel It When My Heart Beats

You know that expression, "All dressed up with no place to go"? I think I live my life in the opposite sentiment, kinda like, "Too many places to go with no time to get dressed".  Honestly, I had the best of intentions of keeping this little window to my world open. As the summer turned into fall, the schedule got the best of me. My "real job" took all of my energy, a lot of my time and most of my drive with it. That's not to say that I haven't created, dreamed, designed, and beautified many things since then...I just haven't had time to reflect. 

Until today.

Today may seem like a funny day to start reflecting. It isn't the beginning of the new year. It isn't the beginning of the month. In fact, it's not even the beginning of the day. Nevertheless, today is the day. 

I've decided to begin my contemplating with my delinquency in regular posts. Give me 140 characters or 19 filters any day and I will promptly use them as my "creative outlet" for the day, week, or if I'm honest, and I am, the month. The problem is, I have eternity in my bones. Literal, high-octane, blazing-eyes, met-with-Jesus eternity and I waste it. On our favorite apps. Here's an example.

For actual months, I have deliberated over daily posts. Wednesday caught my eye, in particular. My dear friend is more or less famous for the phrase “whoa mama” said like “whuh-oh-ma-ma”. Not in a Full House “whoa baby” kind of way or even a “whoa Nelly” way, but an intentional and deliberate way, but I digress. In consideration of the days of the week, Tuesday has “tiny” and Thursday has “throw back”. Wednesday deserved “whoa mama”. So today I pulled the trigger, well, actually, a sort of pulled the trigger. Instead of honoring Wednesday for all it was worth, I settled for captioning a photo with only a fraction of what was in my heart. Even though I didn’t give Wednesday enough, I did give myself something. Conviction and accountability.

You see, even though I decided to live a life of discipline almost 12 years ago, I still need help. I still need motivation. I still need to choose what’s best. Everyday I counsel people (insert pat on the back). Each morning, I dream and strategize issues with God (insert pat on the back). Of course, I also know what happened on every episode of Downton this season (insert the list of things I threw at the television, ahem) but where is the more?! All of those things are great, but I spend so much time patting myself on the back that I forget that unseen, accessible riches are available daily. The only thing that keeps me from them are the distractions I allow myself. So, from now on, I’m committing to fill my pockets with the all the glory I can reach. I’m made to celebrate life to the fullest, everything from true redemption to half-birthdays. And I’m gonna.

Johnnyswim has a song called “Heart Beats”. In it Amanda Sudano sings these lyrics:

I want to go where they tell me it’s not possible, fan the flame, walk on water. I’ve got heaven locked up in these bones. I feel it when my heart beats. Every time my heart beats.

Just a little bit of glory I picked up today.